Xenon Reads Some Books

Hey yo sup humans.
I'm back.
Hope you missed me.

No yeah, you totally did, don't lie.

So lately I've been reading Lord of the Rings because I think I've spent enough time having not read it and I should start having read them. (<-- not grammatically weird at all) I started reading them now because a) my cousins and I watched The Fellowship, which reminded me that it was a thing, and b) I was at Barnes and Noble and there was a stack of LOTR/Hobbit stuff which included the books and they were right in front of me so I got them despite it using up all of my Christmas money.
I do not regret it. They are beautiful books. I want to hug them except hugging books is weird. I'm glad I didn't try them when I was little, since 10-year-old Xenon could not stand any book that was not intense within five pages. And I counted-- Fellowship plot events that do not involve walking a lot begin at page 260. It's still wonderful and I've found a few parts where I really want to turn a particular sequence of words into a person so we can be soulmates. Also I want to go to Middle Earth and I want the things and people and places and everything to be real, I don't even mind Orcs and stuff being real if it means so is everything else.

Wait, wow, I actually said serious things? New talent discovered, you guys!
I need to stop that.
So along with the beautiful experience that is Lord of the Rings, I have some weird jokes and stupid stuff. Among which are:
-Merry and Pimpin' (my family is weird and we couldn't not make the movie about gangsta swag, okay?)
-A couple of lovely works of art, which I might post if I feel like it.
-My dad's comments on my (flawed) explanation of the story: "Has anyone tried giving Orcs therapy?" "Aww, cute little Elves!" *points to a Les Mis poster, featuring one of many grossly underfed characters* "He looks like a Hobbit."
-My actual explanation of the story: "So Bilbo left to go to a place because reasons and then Frodo was all, no wait this is years later, but anyway he goes "k doods I am 'moving' to 'another house' and do you want to 'help' me 'move?'" And the other hobbits are all "YOLO swag let's go" and then later Aragorn goes "K you guys are stupid stop that stop being stupid." And then some other stuff happens."
-My adventures in watching 40 minutes of a 10-hour loop of "They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard," during which I did some homework and melted my brain considerably and still haven't gotten it out of my head.
-Bad fanfiction. Holy frigglesticks. Monstrosities of fanfiction. Why.
-Slamming my hands on the table in shock every time something happens.
-Other stuff I forgot about.

Um okay this is getting to be a really long post.
Pictures, I guess!
These are my LOTR-inspired masterpieces, except for the one that says Texas. That one is a sign I made for my friends' swim meet because I am the best friend (the fact that we don't live in Texas is irrelevant because it's an inside joke or something).