I just remembered something that happened today. I was attempting to force one of my friends to read Deathnote, and this conversation occurred, though it's slightly paraphrased:
Me: *contorting backwards in chair* Read Deathnote NOW.
Friend: I'm going to spite you. *reads other book*
Me: Don't read Deathnote.
Friend: I'm using reverse reverse psychology to do the opposite of what you want.
Me: ...Then read Deathnote. Two negatives make a positive. Don't you know simple math? And English?
Friend: But negative four plus negative four is negative eight.
Me: And negative four times negative four is positive sixteen.
Friend: No it's not. Math has been lying to you.
Me: WHY WOULD IT DO THAT!? WHY DOES IT HATE ME SO MUCH!?!?
Friend: *continues reading other book*
Me: Read Deathnote. Do it. *overly dramatic face*
Friend: No. I'm beating you at your own game.
Me: *long awkward pause filled with strange facial expressions* No. You're not. I will hit you with this glue stick.
Friend: And you will be suspended for attacking me.
Me: But you will have glue on your face and that will be uncomfortable. Now read.
And then some other people walked in and we had to stop talking lest people think I was serious about the glue stick.
Which, you know, I wasn't. At all. Not even a little.
Does anyone even care anymore?
KTHXBAI!!!
-Xenon
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